Weep

I miss my old hair. I should have never cut it. It was beautiful.
But I will grow fresh hair and not dye it so much and it will be lovely again.
Not sure if I should cut off the red tips or not.

Supposedly

I am doing everything right. But I cut off my luxurious carnival red long hair so Edith would stop pulling it. I haven't taught Edith how to eat solid food or how to drink from a cup. Her crib is still at the highest setting. The world will surely end. This year is my 20 year high school reunion. I always thought I'd go to that one. But I am not ready. Maybe the 25th?

Another day

Today is another day. I am fortunate to be alive. But my brains are so slow lately. It makes me sad. Edith is doing well, but I am ignoring her too much. Today I mixed up some Ginger beer starter and attempted to bake cupcakes. The little ones burned. Edith refused to eat her new baby food. So she had some milk and immediately went to sleep for two hours. Why can't she just sleep until 7:30 in the morning if she's so tired
It is a dreary and rainy day. This Friday, Klinton and I are going to an Irregular Choice trunk show at Ma Petite Shoe. He is going to keep me from buying expensive shoes for myself. It's not like I will be able to try on anything while I have Edith strapped to my body.
I feel a little bitter but also a little more grounded.
I really need to get in the right mindset for life. Less WANTING all the time.
You have enough, you do enough, you are enough.

Edith is turning one year old.

In a couple months, Edith will hit the big "1".
I've been told I am "getting a boner" for her birthday. True. I am really excited. I have already bought $60 worth of decor and paper stuff...and toys and favors. There will be two other children attending.
Yes, I may have gone overboard a bit. I get to bake cupcakes and cookies so I am quite excited about that too.
I read a good gift idea that I'm doing. I got her a charm bracelet and her first charm - a letter E. I also got her a wooden box which I am going to decorate with stars and swirls. Also some curly stripes and hopefully an inspiring message that helps he remember I love her always.

Summer is coming

It's time to get ready to be one of those social mommies. I will be signing up for storytime at the library. Edith and I will join the mommies for a romping good time. So I hear. I am excited about it. As soon as I get my mommy haircut.

Life goes on

Things are going well. Edith now only wakes up once a night around 4am. I am good with that for now. I haven't figured out how to get her to go down for a nap alone yet though.
I keep telling myself that I have "already won" the lottery. I already have all the stuff I want. The big stuff, yes. The trivial goodies, no. Handbags, shoes, electronics. I've got a shopping list. I decided the only crazy thing I would buy myself when I win big in the lottery is a special fridge for fancy cheeses.

Edith is the world.

The whole entire world is Edith. I care for her and feed her. I try to keep her from eating electrical cords. She is almost at a very mobile point in her life. She scoots around on her belly.