Monday, January 24, 2011

This is what I call "Ignoring my Brain"

To grow as an individual, the INFJ needs to focus on applying
their judgment to things only after they have gone through
their intuition.

In other words, the INFJ needs to consciously
try not to use their judgment to dismiss ideas prematurely.


Rather, they should use their judgment against their own
ideas. One cannot effectively judge something that they don't
understand. The INFJ needs to take things entirely into their
intuition in order to understand them. It may be neccesary to
give your intuition enough time to work through the new
information so that it can rebuild its global framework of
understanding. INFJs need to focus on using their judgment
not to dismiss ideas, but rather to support their intuitive
framework.

I need to ignore my brain and the way it wants me to not do anything. I need to feel my decisions...I can't quite put this into words.
But this is an example:
My brain tells me that moving to Baltimore is insane and reckless. My other brain tells me to go for it and have ridiculous fun.
I moved to Baltimore. I am now married to a wonderful man and have an adorable baby, all at age 37. I can't imagine that happening by strategic planning and careful actions.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Ooh...I Feel Really Sick

I've been feeling pain in my stomach and mid-back for the past month...but only when I eat too much sugar. I know that I am eating too much sugar when I can taste it. This week, I have had it in the form of bread, muffins, dried fruit, and wheatcakes. I feel ill and something horrible must be wrong. Only sugar. Junk greasy food doesn't do it.
I hope Edith will be okay.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Fattie

So I stopped eating sugary stuff. No more cupcakes or candy or chocolate.
So now all I'm doing is eating too much food.
Everytime I accidentally eat something with too much sugar in it, I get really sick and feel like curling up and dying.
I have to stop eating too much. The difficult part is that I'm not pigging out on junk food...I'm eating too many fresh apples or too much homemade ginger carrot soup.
What I need to figure out is what activity I can do that will take the place of feeding my greedy guts.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Tonight

Edith has been napping for two hours. I am a little afraid to see what happens tonight.
Also, I am getting a little house-bound. A little feeling of being here by myself an awful lot this week. But I guess that is what happens when you marry a Japanese Salary Man.
I forgot! Now I feel better.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

How

At night, when I want to sleep, I am very unhappy with my child when she refuses to go back to sleep after feeding. I say bad things to myself and I try to roll her body into her favored sleeping position.
She wakes up when I set her body on her bed. When I pick her up, her body goes limp against mine and her head nestles into my shoulder.
I set her down, she wakes up. Sometimes I feed her again. I think it is a security feeding. I just beg for sleep. Sometimes I feel that if I am so exhausted I cry, she will sleep out of sympathy. Sometimes that happens.