Deer

I just looked up to see five fully grown deer cross the lightrail tracks while I wait for the lightrail to show up. It was very cool. I wish Edith had been old enough to see them but they were too naturally colored to grab her attention.

Question marks

My phone will not allow me to type question marks anymore. So it might be a confidence thing. No more questions...have faith in your own opinions.

Nice.

Edith is letting me get more sleep. Now I need to take it. After 7 months of waking up every two or three hours at night, I got a night with a waking at 12:30 and one at 4:30...which is great!
But I have a hard time falling back to sleep. It takes me about an hour.
Did I get this nice night because of the 5pm nap or the evening walk with Brownie or her bedroom being the right amount of toasty - or because her teeth are coming in and she's exhausted I guess I'll know tomorrow night.

It's Christmas

Joy! The Ren and Stimpy kind of joy. Christmas is here. We had a very nice party last night with Lane and Catharine and their three young girls. There was a Barbie doll party in the living room and lots of action throughout the rest of the house. They weren't in the mood for dinner, so we had a Looney Toons DVD that provided some nice entertainment.
Mel and Carol showed up right as the food was ready. We had spiral cut ham, biscuts, stuffing with sausage, scalloped potatoes with Anaheim Chilis, garlic mashed potatoes, spring salad with Cayanne walnuts, lots of expensive yummy cheeses and crackers, stuffed grape leaves, cranberry bread, and an assortment of sparkling ciders for the nondrinkers. Mel and Carol tried out some of our wine and other fun beverages. I got a few sips.
Edith was given a cool pink sock monkey for Christmas from Auntie Carol. Even though it appeared that Edith actually appreciated the bow on the monkey more than the monkey, she eventually warmed up to the rest of her new toy.
Our neighbor Ellie showed up after she got off work and came by for a little visit also.
The evening wound down, nobody ate any cake or pie, and we eventually slipped off to bed. Very exhausted.

Guilt

I have an incredible amount of guilt stored up inside me. I have done so many bad things and I am so tired and negative lately. I love my family, even though I have a poor attitude sometimes.

A 12-Month Old 6-Month Old

I decided to try Edith in some of her 12 month clothing. It fits! I guess that answers the question of why she seems to have no clothes. She has jumped clothing sizes.

Just Married

I was married yesterday. It was an amazing wedding and an awesome reception that lasted into the night.
I got dressed quickly and my garter belts broke so I had to take them off. My shoes were sliding around a bit so I had to walk daintily. Edith was fussy - maybe because I was nervous.
I walked down the aisle to "Where Is My Mind" by the Vitamin String Quartet. Klint was waiting for me under some trees, along with the minister.
It was a garden wedding. Klint's mom planned the entire thing on her own. It was perfect in every way and so much more than I expected. Klint and I listened to the vows and stared into each other's eyes for 15 minutes. We held hands, exchanged rings, and kissed.
There was so much excellent food. I ate homemade jalepeno poppers wrapped in bacon, meatballs, tamales, beans and rice, homemade salsa, brie on crackers, and cupcakes. The leftovers made a very decadent breakfast for the morning after.
Our cake was white with black filagree swirls and real red roses. We added a cake topper of our own that we bought in Hampden. It was a Mexican Day of the Dead wedding couple. The cake tasted yummy with a layer of lemon in the middle.
Klint chose the music for the reception. Leslie Hall got everyone grooving on the patio. The ladies danced until the sun went down. After the sun went down, we were in for a very unexpected surprise.
Klint's friend Cyndi went out on the patio and did a fire dancing routine with some kind of fire on the end of chains that she swung around her head at an amazing speed. Now, that was an awesome extra bit of wedding entertainment.
All of my family that I invited showed up and I really appreciated that. Laura, Sebastien, and Calypso came all the way from France to be there. Laura brought me garlic stuffed olives and a homemade bottle of booze.
By the end of the night, all the babies wanted to sleep. It was a wonderful wedding. It was special. I am now a member of an awesome family.

Marriage

I'm getting married in two days. Thanksgiving is tomorrow. Today I get a very special present from my mom that requires a trip to an antique shop. I have been a little out of it and overly sensitive to jokes lately, so I had better watch myself.
We bake cranberry bread today. I hope to eat some. I've got to try to stop saying bad things about myself.

California

We made it! We flew for six hours straight with a baby from Baltimore, Maryland to Los Angeles, California and it wasn't too horrifying.
Right now, we are resting and trying to get the whole "time zone" thing under control. We all did pretty well except for waking up at 4am. But - that is still an improvememt since Klint normally wakes up at 4am anyway. I think we're doing well.
I'm trying to get my hair to calm down before we go out to the Marukai. I haven't been there in a long time and I'm excited. We're going to the dollar store version to pick up some origami paper.
My stomach is growling.
We had Carl's Jr yesterday. I know this is not an intellectual or impressive thing to brag about, but I have not had a Western Bacon Cheeseburger for what feels like a decade. There are no Carl's Jr places in Baltimore. In fact, the closest one is Oklahoma. I will also need a Six Dollar Guacamole Burger.

There's here...

Twitter, facebook, myspace, a composition notebook, a moleskine notebook, and a hardbound sketchbook to write down all my thoughts. Those are the major areas. I could log into gaiaonline.com and rant there, but I haven't been there in years. And my ex probably uses it as a sanctuary free of Hallie stuff.
I wish I had time to be a crafty journal chick, but that will come back to me in five years. Or whenever I can get Edith in love with craft projects. Right now she is in love with a boob and naps next to mama.
Our wedding is soon. I feel like I need to call the marriage license people to make sure they'll be open. I am just nervous.

Sleepybones

Edith is asleep. She is leaning on me and dozing quietly. It is 2:43 in the afternoon and I am trapped on a bed with a cute baby. I can't get up and go do other stuff because she will wake up. All I can do is lay here and twirl my hair. I have interneted all I care to for now. I guess I should have napped with her. But I have my upcoming wedding to think about. And my strong desire for baked goods. I need cupcakes, muffins, cookies, cake. I must go bake now.

One Week, Two Weeks.

In one week, we fly to California. In two weeks, we are married. Andy and Libby won't be able to make it to the wedding. I will survive. I just hope we get some excellent pictures. I will even try to take a few. Edith might sleep through the entire thing. I hope she will be in a good mood that day. Life starts anew, right? Not really. Life has already redefined itself for me so many times in the past two years. Getting married is just another step. A step up to the top. When I lived in Colorado, I was sure that my life was over. Now I do the math and I see it isn't even to the halfway point. What a miserable life I could have had if I had stayed in Colorado.

boob

Is it so wrong to discover that you never snapped your nursing bra cup back into place, meaning that you have been walking around the last few hours with minimal boob support?
I say no. Mainly because it seems to be happening to me often lately...

19 DAYS TO GO

My wedding webpage alerts me that I have nineteen more days until my wedding. Wow. I have a hard time believing that. All this life lived and I'm onto my second marriage, a six month old baby Edith, and it is not even half over yet.

Chili

I am cooking some very special chili today. No, I cannot share the recipe. It is a family secret. My ex-inlaw's super secret chili that I adore. It has Anaheim chilis and chorizo. That is all I can say. I can smell it cooking and it is driving me insane.
I have decided to make it my own. Instead of Mexican beer, I am adding Natty Boh. The Baltimore beer of choice. So now it is Hallie's chili! I can't wait to taste it after all afternoon in a crock pot.
We are going to The Walters art museum for a children 's Day of the Dead festival and crafty fair. The chili was a coincidence.

lazy blogger

today i am trying out the lazy blogger format. No extras that i cant type on my keypad with one thumb.
My wedding dress is almost complete. I am really gonna have to strut my attitude to make it work....my first impression is that i will look like a cupcake on stilts. So i must raise up some hardcore fat girl attitude to get it functional. I will tell myself that klint will think i am a sexy beast. I am only there for him. That is how i need to feel.

me...a little about.

I am recently engaged and soon to be married. My man Klint took my great grandmother's engagement ring, my mother's collection of old gold rings, and a gold filling from his mom to custom create MY engagement ring.
We are flying to California this month to be married. On Black Friday. In his mother's backyard. She has put this entire wedding together in the past two months. With a cake, Mexican food, lots of guests, and the whole shebang!
Everyone involved is getting very excited. I hope that I look beautiful and no one tries to change my mind about the way I'll be dressed. A tea length white satin poofy dress, red and black shoes, a birdcage veil, and red lipstick with black eyeliner.

travelling to somewhere

We fly to California as a family for the first time in a few weeks. Edith is as fussy as ever. I am not making enough milk for her and she refuses formula. And she is teething. And I still have not finished my wedding dress.

baby wisdom or baby logic or whatever the hell...

Last night Klint was joking about our next baby. I keep thinking there won't be one. The last birth was not a good thing for me. I am lazy and Edith exhausts the heck out of me right now. And I was getting the feeling that there would be no more babies.
Then I thought something I'd never thought before. I imagined ten years from now and I saw two kids running around and yelling and having a good time. Then I saw one kid, lonely and shy, sitting at a dining room table. I don't want Edith to be alone.

What secret present is my mom planning for my wedding gift? I need to go with her alone one day. A Tuesday or Wednesday. I have no real clue here.

I am going to finish sewing my wedding dress today and I am quite excited. Just need to sew the bottom and I'm basically done!

I am going to finish sewing my wedding dress today and I am quite excited. Just need to sew the bottom onto the top and I'm basically done!

I am now officially part of a functioning family unit. I have responsibilities and jobs to do so life can be good. Not quite so selfish.

I was proposed to on Halloween. I'm sitting here, staring at my engagement ring, realizing the seriousness of the situation. Fun, but important.

My man proposed to me today - Halloween! He put my ring in a box of Girl Scout cookies. He told me to have one. Yum! My ring could not be more perfect.

Is she getting enough to eat? She's only had that one bottle all week long. She refuses all other bottle/formula combinations. She is a boob girl exclusively.

Two more days until we attend The Rally to Restore Sanity. I think Klint picked up my engagement ring last night. Will the proposal be soon?

We fed Edith strained carrots mixed with formula last night. She liked it! She was kind of pulling it out of her mouth and eating it with her hands.

Edith finally drank some of the oldschool formula. Similac wants us back and sent free samples. Edith refused everything else.

It makes me crazy when I can't log into Facebook. I stay home with my baby and log on while I feed her. She is cute, so it's not too torturous.

The most creatively exotic soup I have ever made. Leftover dinner salad-frozen in the back of the fridge. Throw it in a pot, add stock or water, puree. Yum!

I am scared. My baby refuses every style of bottle we own so far. There is one style left to try. The failed imitation breastfeeding bottle. Wish me luck.

Rawr.

Edith refuses the bottle and I don't make enough breastmilk. She's not teething; she's starving. She's upset and chewing on her hands furiously.

I spend every day trying to entertain my little one between feedings. Feedings are when I get a break from activity and relinquish my body to Edith.

Sark always makes me feel just right and peachy. Life is better when things are done badly. For fun! Don't worry about other people's reactions. Block them out!

I am nervous. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. I want everyone to be pleased to see me. I want to shame no one. I want joy and approval.

For my next trick, I figure out how to set Edith down for a nap. She likes to wake up crying as soon as she hits the sheets. I will work on my skill building.

I'm working on wedding music. Am I badass enough to walk down the aisle to "Metallica Plays Star Wars"? Not really. But maybe I could be someday soon.

I can't get my magical phone tricks to work anymore. I just want the machine to have uploaded a picture when it says it has uploaded a picture.

Edith slept very well. I will never tell my secret. I hope she wasn't listening. I still worry about her. She likes to sleep on her belly.

I have been so lucky so far. Edith has not been rushed back to the hospital, she hardly ever spits up, and she is often happy and smiling. I love her so much!

Wedding stuff. We are doing it! My dress...Klint is renting a kick ass black and red ensemble to wear. It gives me the courage to wear my DIY red+black heels.

43 days until I am a Mrs. Kinder. I am hoping to work on my dress today. Or play with hair and makeup ideas. And I need new shoes...and a cake topper...and...

I just baked flat, oozy chocolate chip and oatmeal cookies. Perhaps I should have used the 3/4 cup of chocolate chips instead of two handfulls.

I will be a rockabilly hottie. My dress will fit perfectly. My shoes will be godly in their awesomness. My wedding will be full of kick ass.

I just discovered my wedding prelude music: The Vitamin String Quartet. I don't know if they're a real band with instruments or one guy at a computer.

I thought this today:
"I'm so goth, I'm getting married on BLACK FRIDAY."
I forgot the day after Thanksgiving is called Black Friday. A huge day for shopping!

Oh my goodness! I have successfully laid Edith down on the bed for a nap. For both of us, if I'm lucky.

Edith had a bath, I put her in the baby backpack. She falls asleep. I don't want to stop doing things for myself. But I am a mom now and Edith is a priority.

A rough night for teething Edith. I just realized that these are the words that belong in a paper journal. No saving these words for future generations.

I had no idea how much I can miss my baby Edith when I go out on my artist's dates. I feel sad for her when I see other babies. I wish for her to be near me.

My ol' friend Megan has posted pinup photos of herself. She is still gorgeous with a great rack, I don't mind saying! I want pinup photos done of me someday.

Our wedding being planned from afar is being taken seriously. People are working hard. It will be good! Thought and effort shows in every detail of the plans.

I just ate experimental relish on hot dogs. It turns out that it tastes best on the top of the dog. I think it needs a little more zing. But what kind of zing?

I am a new mama. My brains often resemble oatmeal. I panic and always order a hamburger, no matter what type of eatery I am in. They can be eaten with one hand.

I keep having nightmares where my car is rolling away and Gary Shandling is there, but he isn't helpful. And Edith doesn't seem to be there.

I love my baby Edith. But she makes me feel worried I am starving her. I try to breastfeed her and she grows impatient quickly. And she hates the bottle.

I see...no subject?

Huh?

Test

Numero Uno

I'll be coming back here to document the past. Using the cut and paste method. When I don't have a baby squealing for attention.
Bye, Hallie