Baby

I am due somewhere around February 15th. Ugh. I am full of wriggling baby and I think I will be quite happy when this next part of life begins. Christmas will be cool this year, but we are very likely going to be moving out of our house by next Christmas.

The man has yet to find work and the mortgage is too high. Sadness. I hope he gets a job soon. I don't mind moving - I like him working though.

It's gonna be a boy.

How did that happen? We get one of each!

What is This?

We teach the the Supreme Deity, or God, is Infinite Intelligence, or Mind, and as such, must be sought after through the use of the mind of man, as intelligence, and by meditation, if one would know him.

We teach prophesy, revelation, healing through the laying on of hands, visions, and all other forms of spiritual manifestations in which Infinite Intelligence makes known His Will to man.

We teach that only personal experience can be accepted as truth, and that each person must find his own truth by his own efforts; thus, things of the spirit can only be known by experiencing them by union with Infinite Intelligence through meditation, which transcends the five senses of man and allows each person to obtain a personal revelation or knowledge of spiritual or mental things.

We teach that Magic, using the mind to create new, desired results in the mortal world, is a form of worship; by defining and obtaining our personal goals we understand our purpose here on earth and our power to grow through the solving of problems which have been set before us.

We teach that worship is a five-fold practice of music, dance, astrology, agriculture and natural medicine.

We teach that a sound mind is to be found only in a sound body and that each person should know and follow the principles of bodily health, such as but not limited to: Good nutrition, exercise, cleanliness, and the use of mental power and exercises to promote health and healing of the body.

We teach that such worship is impossible for a sick mind, or partially sick mind, and that all should be familiar with and practice the basic principles of sound mental health, such as but not limited to: Maintaining a cheerful, positive mental attitude, elimination of all fears and prejudices, development of the emotions of love and compassion for all, and peace and harmony within oneself that comes from "at-one-ment" with Infinite Intelligence.

I am DYING for some Madonna Inn Pink Champagne Cake!

It looks like this recipe makes enough cake for tiers or a really nice layer cake and lots of cupcakes. I have not tried this recipe so I have no idea what it tastes like.

Pink Champagne Celebration Cake

6 egg whites
3 cups sifted all purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup shortening
2 2/3 cups sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
8 to 10 drops pink or red food coloring
2 cups pink champagne (or regular champagne)

Let egg whites stand at room temperature for 30 minutes. Grease pans and line with parchment paper. Grease paper and lightly flour pans.

Preheat oven to 350.
In a medium bowl stir together flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt, set aside.

In a large mixing bowl beat shortening with an electric mixer on medium to high speed for 30 seconds. Add sugar, vanilla, food colorling and beat until well combined. Gradually add egg whites beating well after each additon. Alternately add flour mixtue and champagne to beaten mixture starting and ending with flour just until combined. (batter will appear curdled after champagne additons, but smooth after all of the flour mixture has been added.

Pour in prepared pans and bake for 35-40 minutes until toothpick comes out clean.

Creamy Champagne Frosting

1 cup softened butter
4 cups sifted powdered sugar
1/4 cup milk
1/4 cup Champagne
few drops of pink food coloring
1 tablespoon vanilla
Additonal 5 cups of powdered sugar

Beat butter for 30 seconds gradually add powdered sugar, milk, champagne and vanilla. Beat in an additonal 5 cups powdered sugar until of spreading consistency

5 Steps for Inner Change...uh-huh.

I daydream about making a living selling my purses or necklaces or any other crafted item I put in a shop.

I am centered and focused.

You are what you eat. Exotic and spicy? Natural and bland? Junk?

Release the past and your ATTACHMENT to it.

Yay me! Someone loves me. I love me...but I'd like to love me more.

Me today.

Coco Chanel

“The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.”

 I was actually thinking of a quote like this...

 “A women who doesn’t wear perfume has no future.”

 I like perfume and love to wear it, but I have never felt like spending the money it takes to buy the ones I like.

I would like a bottle of Be Delicious by DKNY. I like it, but I can't convince anyone else to like it.

 I need a perfume that squeals "HALLIE!!!" but at half volume.

I Want...

I want to create a "28 Days of Hallie Mama Fashion" layout like the one I saw in this month's issue of InStyle. It was inspiring, but filled with 6 inch stilettos and ugly, ugly clothes. Some of which oddly reminded me of my own closet. Oops. oh well. So I am armed with a thick fashion magazine and two closets full of clothing that seem to do nothing for me. I will take photos of this undertaking.

 Also, my main man was laid off from his job yesterday. A little distressing, but I am not worried. We have talked about worst case scenarios and options so I am prepared. I am looking forward to a downsizing yard sale in this next month. I have nothing of major worth that I am going to sell, but tons of detritus lying around.

The stress is killing us.The stress is killing us.

Depression and crying. The desire to give up on the normal life lost to messy kitchens and unfolded laundry. Lack of sleep for no reason related to children.
My man is a shell of who he once was and it really does appear to be my fault. I mean it. I've ground his positive attitude down to nothing and all that is left is despair.

Scary.

"Voice or no voice, the people
can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That
is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being
attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of
patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger."
-- Herman Goering at the Nuremberg trials

We treated them badly and hope to be forgiven someday. We survived a week of nonstop whining from a breastfeeding 3 year old genius.

After trying every method to stop the noise, astrology was decided on as the helpful cure. I think it might work in this case.

I hope to find a solution to the whining to come in my life that doesn't involve physical violence and water torture.

I had no idea class reunions weren't free

Who's In?
View All
Absolutely 88
Hmmm 0
Unthinkable 41
Not Yet Replied 69
Lisa Setting Hawes,
Kim Baldridge
Linker, Tammie
Johnson Mischel
(2) Host
Ruben Carino (2)
Cameron Jung (2)
Helene Borger (2)
Luke Laurie (2)
Zeny Galo
Bonnie Johnson (2)
Zeny Galo
Mike Myers (2)
Leah Woodbury
Kristi Kempf (2)
Gary Shepard (2)
Erica Sanford
James Campbell (2)
Michele Rodgers (2)
Aaron Burch (2)
Holly Frazier (2)
Kim Deines
Michael Janeway (2)
Jeffra Gray (2)
Tami Pontis
Terri Atash (2)
Heidi Lorge (2)
Rob Appell
Kelly Moss (2)
Jon Carrasco (2)
Kim Baldridge (2)
Tammie Johnson (2)
Meridith Mehren (2)
Lori Krouse
Bryan Wenter
Dana Ewing
Scott Cahill
Clint Hart
Amanda Mueller
Eric Surowiak (2)
Wes Alford
Jenny Clasing
Jon Rosburg (2)
Jason Zatt (2)
TJ Lawless (2)
Ross Larner
Debbi Zarek (2)
Jason Frey (2)
Becka Seymour (2)
Jason Carr (2)
Jason Brebes
Steve Daillak (2)
Ben Kenyon (2)
Jennifer Lacovara (2)
Jason Hull (2)
Heather Williams (2)
Brodie Leage
Event Conversation
View Older Posts
Lisa Setting Hawes, Kim Baldridge Linker, Tammie
Johnson Mischel
MESSAGE FROM HOST
Please indicate in your RSVP which events you will be
attending. Looking forward to seeing you all, it's gonna be a
blast!
Friday, July 29th 3-6pm
Golf Tournament 9 holes $15 per person
Friday, July 29th 6-8pm
Welcome Reception - Appetizers & Cocktails $15 per person
Saturday, July 30th 6pm-Midnight
Reunion Party, including Appetizer/Dessert Buffet and DJ -
$50 per person if paid by May 31st, $60 per person if paid by
June 30th and $70 per person if paid by the day of the event.
Sunday, July 31st 9am-11am
Hangover Brunch Buffet $20 per person
Hotel Rooms are available for $129 to $159 per night, call
805-528-5252 and let them know you are with the reunion to
book, rooms will be held for booking until May 29th

Fish

Highest Mercury
AVOIDEating
Marlin
Orange roughy
Tilefish
Swordfish
Shark
Mackerel (king)
Tuna ( bigeye, Ahi)

High Mercury
Eat no more than three 6-oz servings per month
Sea Bass (Chilean)
Bluefish
Grouper
Mackeral ( Spanish, Gulf)
Tuna (canned, white albacore) See tuna chart below
Tuna ( Yellowfin)

Lower Mercury
Eat no more than six 6-oz servings per month
Bass ( Striped, Black)
Carp
Cod ( Alaskan)
Croaker ( White Pacific)
Halibut ( Pacific and Atlantic) Jacksmelt ( Silverside)
Lobster
Mahi Mahi
Monkfish
Perch (freshwater)
Sablefish
Skate
Snapper
Sea Trout ( Weakfish)
Tuna (canned, chunk light)
Tuna (Skipjack)

Lowest Mercury
Enjoy two 6-oz servings per week
Anchovies
Butterfish
Catfish
Clam
Crab (Domestic)
Crawfish/crayfish
Croaker
Flounder
Haddock
Hake
Herring
Mackeral (N Atlantic, Chub)
Mullet
Oysters
Perch (ocean)
Plaice
Salmon ( Canned, Fresh)
Sardines
Scallops
Shad ( American)
Shrimp
Sole
Squid ( Calamari)
Tilapia
Trout (freshwater)
Whitefish
Whiting

Why?

Why do the higher beings give me morning sickness all day and night long? I do not enjoy feeling like I want to get close and personal with a toilet bowl. I only do not feel like vomiting when I eat fast food fried chicken. Especially with BBQ sauce. I couldn't finish my baked potato tonight. What is wrong with my taste buds that makes them enjoy hot fried chicken from hell, full of evil additives and death? Oh, how I need some fast food fried chicken. Even the chicken from the supermarket will not do. I must have chicken in sandwiches, nuggets, strips...

My baby is the size of a lime right now.
I want a new pair of boots that cost $142.
I am going to finish writing my book!
I am knitting a toasty warm hippy coat.
I love Edith so much.
I hope she walks or talks soon.
I don't want to eat junk anymore.
I want my baby to be happy, healthy, and whole.
I need more stuff!
I need less stuff!

I need a wrap

I need a nursing wrap that isn't one of those weird apron things. Simple pattern: depending on your body frame- a 40" square of a neutral soft cotton or jersey- that way it will go with whatever you are wearing- just fold into a triangle and sew the edges.

Edith has been weaned.

She is not very happy about it, but it needed to be done. She was down to feeding for five minutes at night and biting me. Not fun. She cries herself to sleep now. Sadness.

Mighty Max

Max is 12 years old, and prefers to be called, "Mighty Max". He has terminal cancer. The "Make a Wish Foundation" contacted Max to offer him a wish. Many times children choose trips to great destinations. All Max wants is to receive ONE MILLION GREETING CARDS. Please help out and send a card, and send this off to your facebook friends to help Max get his one million greeting cards. Thank you....send the cards to: Mighty Max Low c/o Greg and Bambi Low Po Box 111 Neola, IA 51559

It's True.

At the moment I am ten weeks pregnant. I am, of course, very worried about this pregnancy. I have a one year old girl I am trying to learn how to raise in a world full of conflicting information. I feel nauseous all the time unless I am eating junk food. Which makes me feel great and makes no sense at all. But those days ended this weekend because I also have high cholesterol. Back to oatmeal for breakfast. I need a happy, healthy, and whole baby. I wish for one. And I hope Edith will be a wonderful big sister and not too mean.

Three hours

In three hours, it is very likely that my life will change forever.

I have a secret

I was drinking coffee for a whole week, but now I've stopped again. This is related to my secret. I have given up pastries and sugary badness. I am trying to do some form of yoga on weekdays. I am trying to get the house permanently clean.

Spooky!

Today I debate sleeping and Vivienne Westwood

I have been up since 4:30 a.m. dreaming of a handbag. One which is now sold out. Time to shop for a new dream purse!

French women don't get fat or how about Americans?

Old and desperate. Need something to get me on track to healthiness and weight loss. Veganism and French Leek Soup. I shall be inspired by a beautiful display of plates and the pretty portions on them.

Triple Chocolate Cake

Triple-Chocolate Mousse Cake From the episode: Triple-Chocolate Mousse Cake Serves 12 to 16 This recipe requires a springform pan at least 3 inches high. It is imperative that each layer is made in sequential order. Cool the base completely before topping it with the middle layer. We recommend Ghirardelli Bittersweet Chocolate Baking Bar for the base and middle layers; our other recommended brand of chocolate, Callebaut Intense Dark L-60-40NV, may be used, but it will produce drier, slightly less sweet results. Our preferred brand of white chocolate is Guittard Choc-Au-Lait White Chips. For best results, chill the mixer bowl before whipping the heavy cream. The entire cake can be made through step 8 and refrigerated up to a day in advance; leave it out at room temperature for up to 45 minutes before releasing it from the cake pan and serving. For neater slices, use a cheese wire or dip your knife in hot water before cutting each slice. INGREDIENTS BOTTOM LAYER 6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) unsalted butter , cut into 6 pieces, plus extra for greasing pan 7 ounces bittersweet chocolate , chopped fine (see note) 3/4 teaspoon instant espresso powder 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract 4 large eggs , separated Pinch table salt 1/3 cup packed (about 2 1/2 ounces) light brown sugar , crumbled with fingers to remove lumps MIDDLE LAYER 2 tablespoons cocoa powder , preferably Dutch- processed 5 tablespoons hot water 7 ounces bittersweet chocolate , chopped fine (see note) 1 1/2 cups cold heavy cream 1 tablespoon granulated sugar 1/8 teaspoon table salt TOP LAYER 3/4 teaspoon powdered gelatin 1 tablespoon water 6 ounces white chocolate chips (see note) 1 1/2 cups cold heavy cream Shaved chocolate or cocoa powder for serving, optional (see note) INSTRUCTIONS 1. FOR THE BOTTOM LAYER:Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 325 degrees. Butter bottom and sides of 91/2-inch springform pan. Melt butter, chocolate, and espresso powder in large heatproof bowl set over saucepan filled with 1 inch of barely simmering water, stirring occasionally until smooth. Remove from heat and cool mixture slightly, about 5 minutes. Whisk in vanilla and egg yolks; set aside. 2. In stand mixer fitted with whisk attachment, beat egg whites and salt at medium speed until frothy, about 30 seconds. Add half of brown sugar and beat until combined, about 15 seconds. Add remaining brown sugar and beat at high speed until soft peaks form when whisk is lifted, about 1 minute longer, scraping down sides halfway through. Using whisk, fold one- third of beaten egg whites into chocolate mixture to lighten. Using rubber spatula, fold in remaining egg whites until no white streaks remain. Carefully transfer batter to prepared springform pan, gently smoothing top with offset spatula. 3. Bake until cake has risen, is firm around edges, and center has just set but is still soft (center of cake will spring back after pressing gently with finger), 13 to 18 minutes. Transfer cake to wire rack to cool completely, about 1 hour. (Cake will collapse as it cools.) Do not remove cake from pan. 4. FOR THE MIDDLE LAYER:Combine cocoa powder and hot water in small bowl; set aside. Melt chocolate in large heatproof bowl set over saucepan filled with 1 inch of barely simmering water, stirring occasionally until smooth. Remove from heat and cool slightly, 2 to 5 minutes. 5. In clean bowl of stand mixer fitted with whisk attachment, whip cream, granulated sugar, and salt at medium speed until mixture begins to thicken, about 30 seconds. Increase speed to high and whip until soft peaks form when whisk is lifted, 15 to 60 seconds. 6. Whisk cocoa powder mixture into melted chocolate until smooth. Using whisk, fold one-third of whipped cream into chocolate mixture to lighten. Using rubber spatula, fold in remaining whipped cream until no white streaks remain. Spoon mousse into springform pan over cooled cake and gently tap pan on counter 3 times to remove any large air bubbles; gently smooth top with offset spatula. Wipe inside edge of pan with damp cloth to remove any drips. Refrigerate cake at least 15 minutes while preparing top layer. 7. FOR THE TOP LAYER:In small bowl, sprinkle gelatin over water; let stand at least 5 minutes. Place white chocolate in medium bowl. Bring ½ cup cream to simmer in small saucepan over medium-high heat. Remove from heat; add gelatin mixture and stir until fully dissolved. Pour cream mixture over white chocolate and whisk until chocolate is melted and mixture is smooth, about 30 seconds. Cool to room temperature, stirring occasionally, 5 to 8 minutes (mixture will thicken slightly). 8. In clean bowl of stand mixer fitted with whisk attachment, whip remaining cup cream at medium speed until it begins to thicken, about 30 seconds. Increase speed to high and whip until soft peaks form when whisk is lifted, 15 to 60 seconds. Using whisk, fold one-third of whipped cream into white chocolate mixture to lighten. Using rubber spatula, fold remaining whipped cream into white chocolate mixture until no white streaks remain. Spoon white chocolate mousse into pan over middle layer. Smooth top with offset spatula. Return cake to refrigerator and chill until set, at least 2½ hours. 9. TO SERVE:If using, garnish top of cake with chocolate curls or dust with cocoa. Run thin knife between cake and side of springform pan; remove side of pan. Run cleaned knife along outside of cake to smooth sides. Cut into slices and serve. TECHNIQUE Our Triple-Chocolate-Mousse Cake is assembled in one pan and features progressively lighter layers. BOTTOM LAYER A modified flourless chocolate cake made with whipped egg whites, egg yolks, butter, dark chocolate, and sugar provides a sturdy—but not dense—base. The cake collapses as it cools. MIDDLE LAYER The layer's silky yet sliceable consistency is similar to regular mousse in texture, with flavor from dark chocolate and cocoa powder. TOP LAYER Made with whipped cream and white chocolate, this layer is the lightest in flavor and texture. The addition of a little gelatin helps to make the topping sliceable. TECHNIQUE Wispy chocolate curls are an easy way to decorate desserts. Use a vegetable peeler to peel curls off of a large block of milk or dark chocolate. (Large blocks of chocolate make nicer shavings than thin bars of chocolate.) TECHNIQUE To create perfectly smooth slices of soft desserts, the best tool is not a knife. It's a cheese wire—the minimal surface area produces less drag for cleaner, neater slices. If you don't have a cheese wire, dental floss will work almost as well. 1.Hold the handles and pull the wire taut. Using your thumbs to apply even pressure, slice down through the cake. Wipe the wire clean with a dry towel. 2.Make a second cut, perpendicular to the first. Continue to make cuts around the circumference. America's Test Kitchen is a 2,500- square-foot kitchen located just outside of Boston. It is the home of Cook's Country and Cook's Illustrated magazines and is the workday destination for more than three dozen test cooks, editors, and cookware specialists. Our mission is to test recipes until we understand how and why they work and arrive at the best version. We also test kitchen equipment and supermarket ingredients in search of brands that offer the best value and performance. You can watch us work by tuning in to America's Test Kitchen (www.americastestkitchen.com) on public television.

What was written on the bottom

,This was on the bottom of a webpage I was reading today... african mango while pregnant, snimak djokovic nadal rom 2011, top chef braised pork peperoni, best grphics hackintosh, top chef all stars richard, mikes peperoni sauce, mango and liver, african mango kid, Vita Vee’s ‘The Leading Articles, djokovic nadal uzivo prenos rim 2011, top chef richard blais weight loss, lionel messi injury news, tennis live rim2011 for free, uzivo djokovic streaming, Lejdi gaga i djokovic, djokovic nadal rim uzivo gledanje, rumors of lollapalooza 2011 lineup, Kouzaris sarasota, tv prenos nadal, free news submission sites 2011, Mike Isabellas pepperoni sauce recipe, african mango safe for breastfeeding moms, besplatno prenos uzivo djokovi nadal rim 2011, gaga judas reaction, ubuntu tablets, halibut with kumquat marmalade recipe, djokovic nadal finale rim prenos, nadal & djokovic rim video, djokovic nadal finale rim, T I M E marketing concepts, judas lady gaga reactions, What are some of the common consequences to a child whose mother smoked while pregnant,prenos tenis uzivo rim 2011, lady gaga supports novak djokovic on twitter, uzivo u rim, rim okovi marey, grichels, Chevron maintenance jobs, tv prenos djokovic roland, who is the actor on the Kindle friend commercial, michael pepperoni sauce, lollapalooza rumors chicago, prenos okovi - nadal finale rima, smoking and child development, djokovicnadal rim 2011, yog cost overrun, green day tour 2011 rumors,,,,,,,,,

What?

Edith won't eat Cheerios that I feed her...but she'll eat the ones I'm trying to sweep up off the floor!?!

What I learned on Facebook today

For those who don't know...facebook gut is when you are thin but have a spare tire for your stomach....and internet legs are when the backs of your thighs look like cottage cheese and you have think legs.......let that marinate lol

Reduction

I've been reading Appetite For Reduction and actually cooking some of the foods. But cupcakes have ensnared me again. I MUST WIN THIS BATTLE. Or Edith will grow up alone and be forced to attend public school!!!

Today is Edith's party

Today I have also started my period for the first time in 22 months.

I am super UBER bitchy.

I have been demanding and whiny all morning. Edith and I take a nap now.

One week

I think Edith will be turning one year old in a week!

I made it!

I feel good

I am kinda sorta not really but just a little bit trying to somewhat follow a Vegan diet. For my health since my cholesterol numbers are not good. And guess what??? It's helping!
I'm not nearly as tired as I used to be. I have the energy to play on the floor with Edith instead of trying to figure out how to stay awake long enough until her next nap.
Of course, I had to push my boundaries and eat too much Vegan food the other day and feel like I was going to swell up like a gaseous balloon...but I still had energy!

So the lesson is that I can feel full eating vegan foods and I don't need that much of them to get my nutrients. And I can lower my cholesterol and lose weight.
Also, I ordered some all-purpose hiking sandals. I hope they kick ass like the hiking boots.

A scary discovery

Eating vegan makes me have energy again and I don't feel stuffed and sick. Not spastic amounts of energy, just a nice and even amount that keeps me alert and happy.

I ate pastry this morning and afternoon=lethargy and bloated body. Dinner was a salad of quinoa, garbanzo beans, and chives with a little oil to hold it together...and it was really yummy!

AND I FELT GREAT AFTERWARDS. My body is tired of feeling yucky.

Sadness

I made it all the way to Wednesday before I ate too much pasta and baked some experimental scones.

I blame the accidental dropping of too many blueberries in my morning oatmeal for my day of eating too much. I was bad.

Also, knowing that I have ham and mashed potatoes and clotted cream and scones and salmon pinwheels and who knows what other evil delights...oh yeah...Edith's birthday party coming up with hot dogs and sausages and three kinds of cupcakes...

It is hard to stay on task. But I will try again tomorrow!

Old lady Hallie

The results are in: I am unhealthy.

I need to eat more fiber and do aerobic exercise.

No more cookies, cupcakes, fried food, butter or badness. It breaks my little heart. I will try to eat like a sensible adult. Edith needs me around for at least 20 more years.

Tea

I miss having tea with my lady friends. ALOT. I am considering looking up some tea-selling ladies so I can make connections for my fix. That sounds exactly like it should. I wish Hampden was opening a tea parlor and needed me to help in the kitchen. I'd love to move to Hampden and open a tea parlor that seats 7.

Ow.

I fell down yesterday. On my knees and arms. While holding Edith. She cried for a few minutes and then appeared to be ok. I felt her soft under my body. It was very frightening and I am still very sore all over.

Edith seems fine. From all I've read, if she cries for a few minutes she is ok. It's when they don't cry that you have to worry.

I held her in my arms as I was trying to walk over something and I got stuck. Momentum tipped us over onto the carpet. We were very lucky that there were no toys down there when we fell.

Yes, I feel bad. I just need to be more cautious. I need to not wear tight skirts. My boots are getting slick on the bottom too. I don't want to see them go.

Weep

I miss my old hair. I should have never cut it. It was beautiful.
But I will grow fresh hair and not dye it so much and it will be lovely again.
Not sure if I should cut off the red tips or not.

Supposedly

I am doing everything right. But I cut off my luxurious carnival red long hair so Edith would stop pulling it. I haven't taught Edith how to eat solid food or how to drink from a cup. Her crib is still at the highest setting. The world will surely end. This year is my 20 year high school reunion. I always thought I'd go to that one. But I am not ready. Maybe the 25th?

Another day

Today is another day. I am fortunate to be alive. But my brains are so slow lately. It makes me sad. Edith is doing well, but I am ignoring her too much. Today I mixed up some Ginger beer starter and attempted to bake cupcakes. The little ones burned. Edith refused to eat her new baby food. So she had some milk and immediately went to sleep for two hours. Why can't she just sleep until 7:30 in the morning if she's so tired
It is a dreary and rainy day. This Friday, Klinton and I are going to an Irregular Choice trunk show at Ma Petite Shoe. He is going to keep me from buying expensive shoes for myself. It's not like I will be able to try on anything while I have Edith strapped to my body.
I feel a little bitter but also a little more grounded.
I really need to get in the right mindset for life. Less WANTING all the time.
You have enough, you do enough, you are enough.

Edith is turning one year old.

In a couple months, Edith will hit the big "1".
I've been told I am "getting a boner" for her birthday. True. I am really excited. I have already bought $60 worth of decor and paper stuff...and toys and favors. There will be two other children attending.
Yes, I may have gone overboard a bit. I get to bake cupcakes and cookies so I am quite excited about that too.
I read a good gift idea that I'm doing. I got her a charm bracelet and her first charm - a letter E. I also got her a wooden box which I am going to decorate with stars and swirls. Also some curly stripes and hopefully an inspiring message that helps he remember I love her always.

Summer is coming

It's time to get ready to be one of those social mommies. I will be signing up for storytime at the library. Edith and I will join the mommies for a romping good time. So I hear. I am excited about it. As soon as I get my mommy haircut.

Life goes on

Things are going well. Edith now only wakes up once a night around 4am. I am good with that for now. I haven't figured out how to get her to go down for a nap alone yet though.
I keep telling myself that I have "already won" the lottery. I already have all the stuff I want. The big stuff, yes. The trivial goodies, no. Handbags, shoes, electronics. I've got a shopping list. I decided the only crazy thing I would buy myself when I win big in the lottery is a special fridge for fancy cheeses.

Edith is the world.

The whole entire world is Edith. I care for her and feed her. I try to keep her from eating electrical cords. She is almost at a very mobile point in her life. She scoots around on her belly.

Sleep of joy

By letting Edith cry at night, she is learning to sleep. For some reason, I couldn't handle waking up every hour to keep her company.

This is what I call "Ignoring my Brain"

To grow as an individual, the INFJ needs to focus on applying
their judgment to things only after they have gone through
their intuition.

In other words, the INFJ needs to consciously
try not to use their judgment to dismiss ideas prematurely.


Rather, they should use their judgment against their own
ideas. One cannot effectively judge something that they don't
understand. The INFJ needs to take things entirely into their
intuition in order to understand them. It may be neccesary to
give your intuition enough time to work through the new
information so that it can rebuild its global framework of
understanding. INFJs need to focus on using their judgment
not to dismiss ideas, but rather to support their intuitive
framework.

I need to ignore my brain and the way it wants me to not do anything. I need to feel my decisions...I can't quite put this into words.
But this is an example:
My brain tells me that moving to Baltimore is insane and reckless. My other brain tells me to go for it and have ridiculous fun.
I moved to Baltimore. I am now married to a wonderful man and have an adorable baby, all at age 37. I can't imagine that happening by strategic planning and careful actions.

Ooh...I Feel Really Sick

I've been feeling pain in my stomach and mid-back for the past month...but only when I eat too much sugar. I know that I am eating too much sugar when I can taste it. This week, I have had it in the form of bread, muffins, dried fruit, and wheatcakes. I feel ill and something horrible must be wrong. Only sugar. Junk greasy food doesn't do it.
I hope Edith will be okay.

Fattie

So I stopped eating sugary stuff. No more cupcakes or candy or chocolate.
So now all I'm doing is eating too much food.
Everytime I accidentally eat something with too much sugar in it, I get really sick and feel like curling up and dying.
I have to stop eating too much. The difficult part is that I'm not pigging out on junk food...I'm eating too many fresh apples or too much homemade ginger carrot soup.
What I need to figure out is what activity I can do that will take the place of feeding my greedy guts.

Tonight

Edith has been napping for two hours. I am a little afraid to see what happens tonight.
Also, I am getting a little house-bound. A little feeling of being here by myself an awful lot this week. But I guess that is what happens when you marry a Japanese Salary Man.
I forgot! Now I feel better.

How

At night, when I want to sleep, I am very unhappy with my child when she refuses to go back to sleep after feeding. I say bad things to myself and I try to roll her body into her favored sleeping position.
She wakes up when I set her body on her bed. When I pick her up, her body goes limp against mine and her head nestles into my shoulder.
I set her down, she wakes up. Sometimes I feed her again. I think it is a security feeding. I just beg for sleep. Sometimes I feel that if I am so exhausted I cry, she will sleep out of sympathy. Sometimes that happens.